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Alan Brown: Music


(Alan Brown)
Miss Potter, you don’t know me, but I think we should speak, I’ve watched you through the fence all week
It seems that you’re a writer; well I’m a writer too, but getting it down on paper ain’t so easy to do
I have a proposition to lay at your feet, I’m staggered by your style and looks
With my imagination and you to hold the pen, together we could write some books, hear what I’m saying
Together we could write some books

It’s a marriage made in Heaven, we’re blessed from the start, I’d sacrifice my all for art
Your gardener - old Macgregor - wants to bake me in a pie, in Scotland creativity was never rated high
He says he kent my faither, I guess that’s me doomed, might as well just say amen
But there’s unfulfilled potential in everyone you meet, he can say he knew me when I was nothing
Yes he can say he knew me when

Miss Potter, let me ask you, what do you think, how’s about we splash some ink?
You know that Mr Millais? well tomorrow afternoon I’m going round to ask if he would do a wee cartoon
And MacIntosh the postman will be go-between, he can handle all the mail
I’ll organise the family, spread the word among the troops, get ready for my cotton tale, a wee bit pun there
Caviar instead of kail

Months went by, Miss Potter went away, but MacIntosh the postman brought a parcel one fine day
He opened up a book and the rabbit said: Good Grief! Who’s that poncy bunny with the sticky-out teeth?

Miss Potter you have wronged me, I’m losing my cool. You’ve really made me look a fool
Matching breeks and waistcoat! Cravat and a tile! It’s a very funny bunny would go out in that style
The boys ain’t gonna like this, make no mistake, Flopsy is the name for Jake?
But in the roll of shame we’re not the first by any means, there’s nothing wrong with carrots or Old Macgregor’s greens
Miss Potter you don’t know me, but I know my name
And the best laid schemes of mice and men and rabbits ain’t the same, and never will be
They definitely ain’t the same

(The author Beatrix Potter was famed for her Peter Rabbit stories. They were inspired by the holidays she spent in Birnam, Perthshire; he kent my faither - he knew my father; in Scotland this is a put-down as in How can he be famous when I knew his father?; Mr Millais - the Victorian artist John Everett Millais, who, like the Potter family, would spend the summer in this part of Perthshire; MacIntosh the postman - Charles MacIntosh, the Perthshire naturalist who befriended the young Beatrix; kail - a root vegetable; breeks - trousers; tile - a type of hat; the best laid schemes of mice and men - a line from Robert Burns’ poem To a Louse (the last four words used as a title by author John Steinbeck)